The Zealot

Mariusz Lewandowski

You who worship the star lords with tithes and quiet prayers are worth less even than your meagre pittances, less than the silence that the star lords return to you as retribution. Pathetic wretches, open your eyes! Obliterate your pitiful hopes, your horribly banal strivings! For you — for any of us — there is nothing to reap but noise, cankers, darkness.

Only paludal Ydoth, the terrestrial god of murk and mire, will bring the future we deserve: vain architecture crumbled, bodies churned into humus, until the earth is nothing more than a barren landscape of slag, buzzing with cicadas.

We petition Ydoth not for succour nor guidance. The god cares not for our wretched forms; nay, we are merely vessels for its abhorrent desires. Ydoth consumes all; to be the consumed is but abject bliss. 

When doing something that carries risk, Ydoth will decide our fate. We roll as many d6s as you wish, tempting the god's wrath more with each added die.

If we roll a six, we succeed — Ydoth has empowered us, even if only briefly.

For every one we roll, the fate Ydoth has chosen for us draws nearer.

# of ones          potential fallout

1                       A finger lost or broken. An emotional wound. Destitution.

2                       Mangled limbs. A broken mind. Disease, degenerative and unsightly.

3+                     Death by terrible means; perhaps a fate worse than death.

Maze-Travellers of the Unknown

Hey world, it's my first hack!

awesome art by someone I don't know! drop a comment if you know and I'll credit accordingly!

A snatch of conversation over on the NSR Discord, ignited by this recent Flintlocks and Witchery post, revealed to me an essential and heretofore overlooked link in the OSR timeline: Searchers of the Unknown.

What is this sorcery? Released in 2012, it's the perfect distillation of a minimalist d20 system, providing a character "stat block" equivalent to those listed for monsters in the original OD&D and B/X modules. If it's enough for the GM to run, it's enough for the players. It's inspired many hacks (also available via the link above) but it seems interest in the system has cooled a bit in recent years.

Now previously I hadn't been much inspired to pen my own hack (my Anydice history notwithstanding) but something about this weird streamlined one-page game with an ultra-basic layout that shouts "do it with Google Docs!" — something about this special little treasure just got my ink flowing.

Of course I have a soft spot for the old 2d6 knucklebones — maybe it's the long hours camping in the Pacific Northwest rain, huddled under the tarp with a backgammon board, smoking far too many cigarettes — but that pure simplicity of tossing a couple normal dice onto the table, that gentle cozy bell curve; it just sits right with me.

Flavour-wise it's Yet Another Unnecessary Fantasy Game, nothing revolutionary. However, there are a few moves here that I think are worthy of note:

- Optional Mix-n-Match Classes: inspired by World of Dungeons, of which I've been playing loads lately.

- Spellcasting: the classic list has been condensed into a d66 table, containing 18 Wizard-flavoured and 18 Cleric/Druid-flavoured spells. Power effects are based around Level + Move, so a Fireball at L1 looks quite different from one at L10.

- Advancement: Maze Rats-style, where you select a bonus each level.

Check it out over here! Feedback is always welcome and appreciated.

Floundering Falls — Level Two

Level one, and a bit of context, can be found here.

 

 

Ayyoha's Paradox — An Adventure Site for Vaarn

Built using the tables from Vaults of Vaarn #3

 

 

What the PCs know. 

Once a respected and sought-after Choreographer, frequently appearing at the funerals of the most prestigious and wealthy residents of Gnomon, Cynop Scincidae found their contracts quickly severed once Inquisitor Shemwell used his terrible informatics to expose Cynop's Cacogenic heritage. They then connected with other disgraced Cacogen poets and politicos to deliver their own brand of justice to Shemwell, who fled into the wastes south of Gnomon after the Cacogen faction retaliated. Though penniless and hungry, Cynop and their Cacogen comrades are educated in several delicate arts and supple skills, and have offered a reward of rich knowledge to the party if Shemwell is brought to them alive.

What they don't know.

Since fleeing Gnomon, the richly-attired and -equipped Shemwell was captured by a horde of psychedelically uplifted myconid bandits, who, cackling, stripped him of his riches and forced him to crawl on all fours, nude as a common pack animal, carrying panniers heavy with supplies. The bandits rove occasionally from their hideout for fresh plunder, often taking Shemwell with them, leashed and grovelling, to assist in verbally smoothing transactions with those plundered. This has been going on for months, and Shemwell, docile, disoriented, and nursing an acute case of Stockholm syndrome, has plum forgot all about the inquisition or those he harmed in the process.

 

Floundering Falls — Level One

The first OSR(ish) dungeon I ever wrote (and ran), back in 2020. Made for Maze Rats, and populated with the tables found therein. For the map, I printed off the first three floors of Dyson's Delve, and made adjustments as necessary. Posts with Floors 2 thru 4 are forthcoming. Whether my ugly edited maps are forthcoming is a matter of debate.

 

EMPLOYMENT OPPORTUNITY -- FLOUNDERING FALLS

 

Her Ladyship the Baroness of Blunderbone requests the tusk of the Walrakeet, renowned for its restorative properties. The Walrakeet may be found in the region of the Floundering Falls, behind which it is said the beast makes its abode. Convey sundry tusks to Lord Lumpley at Castle Blunderbone for compensation of 1000 silver per tusk, P.O.D..

Science-Fantasy Starter Packages for Into The Odd

The idea was: I wanted to play a little Ultraviolet Grasslands, but bounced quite off the SEACAT system included within the UVG book — some nice flavour there, to be sure, but a modicum too crunchy for my table. Into The Odd is a perennial favourite of mine for its light rules scaffolding and decisive combat — it's like the Crystal Palace of ttrpg systems — so naturally I eventually found my way to Into The Grasslands. This one's got Bastionland-style failed careers (and associated gear packages) which lean into Will's version of the UVG setting, a version inhabited by stoned detectives and souped-up steppe buggies. Lovely writing, but overall a bit sillier than my read of the UVG.

So, necessity (or stubbornness) being the mother of invention and all, I made a thing to fill the void. This one uses the classic ItO approach to starter packages (determined by HP and highest ability score) but the spread is a bit different — see, I don't have as many ideas as Chris, so I had to massage the numbers to make em fit.

 

More Wizards Faffing About

There's been a few good posts recently about wizards who run the world. Wizards as your classic setting-spanning ultra-antagonist. Great stuff!

Thing is, when I think "wizard" I immediately envision the bumbling, star-robed greybeards of screen and page, the Rincewinds and Sword-in-the-Stone-Merlins of the world. The idea here is to do a kind of overpowered fool who'd feel at home in Ankh-Morpork or a Monty Python skit. It's a grab-all-the-dice kinda deal which'll help you generate such splendid wizards as: 

 

Jiffy the Terrific, who specialises in "rube goldberg-omancy", looks perpetually sodden, and is an avid jogger and calisthenician. How terrifying would it be if this guy ran the world?

 

 

Image by Dall-E 2